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Death and Dying Research Paper
Children are generally unable to express themselves, which makes it difficult for adults to understand their concept of death. The current study explores the question relating to a child’s concept of death and the role of their cognitive development when processing death-related information. Primary and secondary scholarly literature provides critical knowledge about factors that affect children’s concept of death and the need to understand their cognitive-developmental stage when speaking about death. The study is founded on the hypothesis, “A child’s age and cognitive developmental stage influence a child’s understanding of death and should be taken into account when speaking to a child about the subject.” Hence, to discuss the basic tenets of death and dying based on the children’s understanding, the study will focus on various sections, including concepts of death (for a child, toddler, preschool, school age, and teenager), critical analysis, and summary and conclusions.
A Child’s Concept of Death
Every child has a unique idea of death based on age, emotional and cognitive development, past experiences with death, and their social environment. According to Callanan (2014), various sources of information about death, such as cartoons, TV, movies, video games, and books, or experience of a terminal illness and death of a family member, could affect the way a child conceives death. Furthermore, children could react to death, depending on the way an adult, such as a mother or father, responds to death. Adults can transfer negative feelings, such as fear and confusion, to their children. Although it is challenging to treat death as a part of life, adults should learn to control their feelings and emotions when they are around children (Gillett-Swan, 2017). People should handle death based on their cultural beliefs and familial mores to alleviate confusion among children when death occurs. Besides, compared to adults in the family, children are less mature in the way they think and process information. Researchers also reveal differences within children around the same age regarding their concept of death. Therefore, people helping children to cope with death should understand their ideas of death, depending on the typical developmental stage.
Infant
Babies lack any concept of death because of their developmental limitations, but they sense what their caregiver is feeling. They tend to react to separation from their primary caregivers (such as parents), changes in their routine, or painful procedures. When they are terminally ill, babies require as much physical and emotional support as adults. However, they might not understand when someone around them is critically sick. Besides, as long as they have primary care, they might not understand if their mother is unwell or dead. However, a disruption in their routine, in the process of dealing with death, will upset them and they might react with uncontrollable wailing (Renaud, Engarhos, Schleifer, & Talwar, 2015). Unfortunately, babies are incapable of expressing themselves and will communicate fear through crying. Therefore, when grieving, caregivers should take care of themselves and recognize the importance of taking care of the baby. They should also, as much as possible, avoid separation from the infant during the grieving period to enhance the sense of security (Gillett‐Swan, 2017). The baby may lack the concept of death, but it will react to the surrounding.
Toddler
Just like an infant, death has little meaning to a toddler because they might not understand the idea of death. Even with prior experience with death, a toddler will not differentiate between life and death, and might not think about death as a permanent situation. However, they will react to their environment; for example, they may feel afraid because those around them express fear and anxiety during the grieving period. Hence, they can sense sadness, depression, or anger. Renaud et al. (2015) suggest that toddlers will understand death as separation, especially when a mother or father dies. Therefore, when they receive the nonverbal communication for affection, care, and reassurance, they recover faster from the separation because they have not developed the idea of permanence (Mouratidi, Bonoti, & Leondari, 2016). Therefore, just like infants, toddlers require considerable attention in the face of loss, especially when others are grieving the loss of a loved one. Adults should strive to maintain a routine, give attention to the toddler and console them to cope with the death and bereavement.
Pre-school
During this age, children might begin to understand that adults fear death and that it brings negative emotions, such as sadness, whenever it occurs. However, they might lack the idea of permanence and view death as a reversible process, just like in their cartoon programs. For example, they might expect that the dead person will come back to life. Adults should select words carefully when communicating with preschoolers to prevent confusion. In most cultures, they explain death to children at this age as “went to heaven” (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). Although they might not understand what happens after death or appreciate that, everyone will eventually die, preschoolers also fail to comprehend that a dead person cannot eat, breathe, or sleep. Therefore, adults should avoid explaining the idea of death using such concepts as sleeping or gone on a trip because they experience death through the actions and behaviors of those in their social surroundings (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). Therefore, adults should be careful to avoid creating fear among children when grieving, especially if the situation is unexplained and remain uncertain.
Preschoolers are overly interested and might be curious about “why” and “how” death occurs. Therefore, adults should be prepared to address such questions as honestly as possible, but using a language that children can understand because preschoolers might believe that their actions or thoughts caused the death or sadness that everyone around them is experiencing. Rosengren, Gutiérrez, and Schein (2014) argue that children require constant reassurance when faced with the uncertainty of death. Hence, adults should help them to overcome feelings of guilt or shame when they lose a loved one. For example, if a sibling dies, the child might feel that they caused the death. Hence, they require love, affection, and reassurance that it is not their fault and could not have done anything to prevent it (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). They might also feel guilty if they are seriously ill and believe that it is a punishment for something they did or failed to do. Overall, they might even blame their parents for failing to protect them from pain and illness.
Preschool children require support to understand death and avoid the misconception reinforced by cartoons and video games. Adults should help them to understand things as they are by using simple and clear language when speaking about death. They should avoid using phrases, such as the person is sleeping because they might develop a fear of sleeping or being alone in a room. Children at this age should receive a clear message of death, indicating that the person has died and will not return to life (Brooten & Youngblut, 2017). Preschool children will continue to ask questions, which an adult should be prepared to answer as correctly and literally as possible with concrete and specific explanations about the reality of death and dying. Furthermore, the adult should remain alert because children might not vocalize their feelings, thoughts, and fears, which could come out unconsciously during play (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). In general, preschool children require ongoing support from adults, such as parents or psychologists, to come to terms with the reality of death and bereavement.
School-Age
At this age, children are already aware of the concept of death because they have developed a more realistic understanding of death and dying. However, the actual meaning of death is yet to develop because they might conceive it in the form of skeletons, angels, or ghosts. However, they can now understand the permanence of death, such as a dead person is gone forever, and that everyone will die eventually. School-aged children might develop curiosity regarding what happens during death and the place where one goes after death (Panagiotaki et al., 2018). They will also want to understand the physical process of death and might begin to fear because they are unaware of where the person goes after death. The whole idea of death might be an overwhelming reality for school-aged children (Brooten & Youngblut, 2017). Hence, they might have difficulties understanding how the permanence of death cannot be controlled.
School children require honesty when supporting them to deal with death because they can understand its finality and permanence. They comprehend that everyone will die eventually; thus, they need help to overcome the related fear and uncertainty. For example, when a close person dies, they might develop the fear of dying or another member of the family. Hence, they require an honest and straightforward explanation about the death and dying process, as well as questions to apprehend if they understand the explanation. The adult can have a candid discussion with school-aged children, speaking and responding to their concerns until they understand the concept of death and dying. Besides, the support system should eradicate potential misunderstandings or misinterpretations of death, which might confuse them. The adult should find clear words to help children to express their feelings and emotions and to help them cope with the loss of a loved one.
Besides speaking to the child, the adult should offer them a chance to speak out and express their concerns, fears, and worries related to death. They might not speak about everything in one instance, which requires the adult to give them more opportunities to talk. It is more important to listen to them than to struggle to explain various concepts about death. Besides, children require assurance and affection when death occurs to prevent shame or guilt (Brooten & Youngblut, 2017). The adult should always remind them that death is a natural process, which has no control. They need affection and attention because they might feel abandoned, especially if a mother or father dies. Some strategies to overcome such fear include, reminding them that not every sickness leads to death, reassuring them of their health, letting them feel loved, and maintaining a routine if death occurs.
Part II
Teenage/Adolescence
Teenage is the most complicated stage when dealing with death and dying. During this age, individuals understand death clearly and might already have experienced the demise of a close person. Therefore, they know that death is real, final, and irreversible. However, Davis and Breede (2018) suggest that they might not know how to cope with the actual death when it occurs. While some pretend to be independent and strong, others are completely broken and depressed when someone close to them dies. Some teenagers reach out to others, especially adults, to help them in understanding and coping with the loss of a loved one. Adolescents mostly reach out to their families for cues regarding the reality of death and how to deal with it (Andriessen et al., 2018). Consequently, their ability to cope depends on the way other members of the family react to the loss. For instance, a teenager might have a hard time overcoming the pain of death if a parent is depressed as a result of the loss. Therefore, adults should learn how to cope effectively to provide the necessary support to teenagers.
Adolescence is a stage at which an individual experiences numerous physical and emotional changes; therefore, teenagers are at a higher risk compared to younger individuals to become depressed when death occurs. They could hide their actual feelings but manifest them through behavioral issues, such as alcoholism or smoking, later in life (Andriessen et al., 2018). They are also more likely to feel misunderstood, alienated, or angry when death occurs (Davis & Breede, 2018). Therefore, adults should handle teenagers carefully in the event of a death to ensure that they cope and heal from the loss. Parents or other responsible adults should confront the reality of death openly and honestly because adolescents understand. Furthermore, Davis and Breede (2018) advise that speaking to teenagers about death should focus on expressing their feelings about the loss. Therefore, if the parent feels overwhelmed by emotions, a friend, relative, or counselor can get over the responsibility of speaking to the teenager to provide coping mechanisms to overcome negative emotions. However, the approach to helping a teenager depends on the individual’s reaction to a death.
When discussing death with a teenager, the adult should first understand how the individual reacts to painful or depressing situations. While some are open about their feelings, others prefer to remain silent and isolated from reality. Rosengren, Gutiérrez, and Schein (2014) posit that an adult should not be afraid of remaining silent if the teenager is not prepared to speak about the loss. However, they should provide comfort and care by being there for the grieving teenager. Rather than informing them about their feelings or telling them how not to feel, the adult should affirm their feelings and show an understanding of their negative emotions. It is necessary to allow them to grieve in a comfortable and safe environment (Irish, Lundquist, & Nelsen, 2014). The most effective way of helping teenagers to deal with grief is to learn the different ways that they react to the loss of a loved one. The knowledge will inform the most effective strategy to approach each individual.
Teenagers react to death differently, which is necessary to learn and help them to cope appropriately. One of the groups of reactions includes numbness, shock, and disbelief. Such cases occur in sudden death and provide a protective reaction that protects them from handling overwhelming emotions until the person is prepared to confront them. When dealing with such cases, the adult should allow the teenager to absorb the awfulness of the loss and show them that you understand their feelings (Davis & Breede, 2018). The second group reacts through anger, frustration, and rage. Individuals who react in this manner tend to blame someone, who could be the doctor, God, the self, or the dead person. They might start to doubt reality, such as the existence of God. The adult should avoid challenging them and instead affirm their feelings, such as telling them it is alright to be angry (Corr, Corr, & Doka, 2018). The last group reacts through depression, emptiness, and loneliness. Some feel like they no longer have any reason to live. Adults should show them that they understand their feelings and give them hope that things will change and that the sad feeling will pass. It is necessary to seek professional help when a teenager is still having difficulty functioning in their daily activities after six months (Andriessen et al., 2018). However, they should be assured that it is acceptable and normal to seek help.
Critical Analysis
The analysis of the concept of death in different age groups affirms the argument that cognitive development plays a critical role in how children process information related to death. The data also affirms Piaget’s framework for conceptualizing cognitive development in children and its effect on numerous outcomes in life, including the development of coping behaviors (Andriessen et al., 2018). Children’s attitudes toward death depend on the age of the child. Although children within the same age group could differ in their understanding of the concept of death, their developmental capacity to comprehend the reality is similar. For example, while a preschool-age could understand that death occurs, they lack the knowledge of its permanent nature (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). They might expect that the dead person will come back to life. The level of understanding differs from school-aged children and adolescents who could have developed the cognitive ability to understand death and dying (Corr, Corr, & Doka, 2018). The knowledge of the differences is important when helping children to cope with death.
Death and dying are a part of the life cycle, but children might lack the cognitive competence to comprehend how it occurs and how to cope with the occurrence. Unlike adults, children require considerable support to overcome the reality of the death of a loved one. Children’s confrontation with death depends on a child’s age (Corr, Corr, & Doka, 2018). Researchers reveal that during the early stages of their cognitive development, children might be largely unbothered by death, which they view as reversible and avoidable (Rosengren, Gutiérrez, & Schein, 2014). They tend to be emotionally affected depending on the reaction of the adults around them. As they grow up, they learn about the definiteness and inevitability of death (Renaud, Engarhos, Schleifer, & Talwar, 2015). The differences affirm that the understanding of the concept of death depends on children’s cognitive and perceptive stage. However, other researchers indicate that the environment or culture in which a child grows also affects the concept of death. In most situations, children originally approach death with inquisitiveness. However, they later develop emotions of fear, stress, and sorrow later in life as they develop cognitively and interact in their social environment (Corr, Corr, & Doka, 2018). Adults should understand the differences to learn how to speak to children at different ages about death and dying.
Summary and Conclusions
Research reveals interesting findings regarding the concept of death and its association with cognitive development. Generally, the comprehension of the concept depends on the age of a child. In terms of development, experts indicate that newborns lack an understanding of the concept of death. However, they can feel the absence and sentiments of sorrow in their surroundings. During infancy and preschool age, children are more cognitively developed and could perceive the concept of death in their environment. However, they are not adequately developed to understand its permanence and irreversibility. They might be convinced that the dead person will return to life. They perceive a state of sleep and inertia. Later, as children enter the school age, they become able to understand that death and its associated absence are permanent. They now know that once a person is dead, he or she leaves completely and never comes back. During adolescence, they are cognitively mature to understand what death means. The stages inform the need to learn effective approaches to talk about death to children of different ages. Generally, failure to support them appropriately can lead to internalizing behavior later in their lives.
References
Andriessen, K., Mowll, J., Lobb, E., Draper, B., Dudley, M., & Mitchell, P. B. (2018). “Don’t bother about me.” The grief and mental health of bereaved adolescents. Death Studies, 42(10), 607-615.
Brooten, D., & Youngblut, J. M. (2017). School-aged children’s experiences 7 and 13 months following a sibling’s death. Journal of child and family studies, 26(4), 1112-1123.
Callanan, M. A. (2014). Diversity in children’s understanding of death. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 79(1), 142-150.
Corr, C. A., Corr, D. M., & Doka, K. J. (2018). Death & dying, life & living. New York: Cengage learning.
Davis, C. S., & Breede, D. C. (2018). Talking through death: Communicating about death in interpersonal, mediated, and cultural contexts. London: Routledge.
Gillett‐Swan, J. K. (2017). ‘you can’t have wellbeing if you’re dead… or can you?’ children’s realistic and logical approach to discussing life, death and wellbeing. Children & Society, 31(6), 497-509.
Irish, D. P., Lundquist, K. F., & Nelsen, V. J. (2014). Ethnic variations in dying, death and grief: Diversity in universality. New York: Taylor & Francis.
Mouratidi, P. S., Bonoti, F., & Leondari, A. (2016). Children’s perceptions of illness and health: An analysis of drawings. Health Education Journal, 75(4), 434-447.
Panagiotaki, G., Hopkins, M., Nobes, G., Ward, E., & Griffiths, D. (2018). Children’s and adults’ understanding of death: Cognitive, parental, and experiential influences. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 166, 96-115.
Renaud, S. J., Engarhos, P., Schleifer, M., & Talwar, V. (2015). Children’s earliest experiences with death: Circumstances, conversations, explanations, and parental satisfaction. Infant and Child Development, 24(2), 157-174.
Rosengren, K. S., Gutiérrez, I. T., & Schein, S. S. (2014). Cognitive models of death. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 79(1), 83-96.
Rosengren, K. S., Gutiérrez, I. T., & Schein, S. S. (2014). Cognitive dimensions of death in context. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 79(1), 62-82.
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